All things come in Threes. I'll make a list, before going on to my long story for the day. Lecture today was surprisingly short. Received an email with the opportunity to help change the school. Completed the final paper for ED, with the confidence of an A grade. Bad start for the test in school. Bad stomach upset in school. Did not make the interview for the trip.
This morning, I got out of bed without a good feeling. Subconsciously, my mind was telling me to sleep through the day. The dreams I had the night before, felt too good to be true. Reminds me of the morning of the posting results, though it was somewhat different. Dragged myself to school, as there was a test to be held at 8.30am. We were delayed till 9.20am, as here were some technical issues with the online test. We sat for a written test instead. Went to bind my assignments, but sadly, the lecturers were not in the office at the time. Dropped off the projects and went off for lunch. Went off to the washroom for an unpleasant start to the afternoon, before heading for the last lecture of the semester, which lasted an hour. Went for the final test, after some help from Hong Peng, which greatly boosted my chances of getting an A grade for the paper.
On 29th February, I spent 2 minutes in a room. I felt the same cold, dark feeling which I felt inside of me when I failed my first attempt at a driving test after a near accident with a primier taxi, when I left the room. Here's a copy of my Dream Journal, unedited, dated not too long ago, on Saturday, 30th January 2010. It was just a day after the interview, and I "saw" the results firsthand. What I have here, are notes, as the scenes in my dreams usually jump around from place to place(though the events are ironically able to link themselves together extremely well):
30th Jan'10
day: Sunday, 7th Feb'10 ??
time: late morning/ early afternoon
venue: some function room large enough to hold 40
Confirmation of OMF applicants(announcement by 2 members of panel)
>failed interview
>>students who were asked questions about selves, studies, trip-related = accepted(no names mentioned)
>>>first meeting for successful applicants held on 14th _____(month)??
>joel,glenn,sarah..
[END]
Apparently, the dream started with the flashback of the dialogue session held on the 28th. Somehow, after the session, when everyone went for another round of refreshments, a white board was brought in. A piece of paper covered the board. 2 members of the panel came in. Silence was in the air. One of them said,"students who were asked questions about yourselves, about your studies, or any trip-related questions would be accepted without ay questions asked." They left, without mentioning any names, and with the board remaining in the room. I accepted it as though nothing had happened. In the crowd, I saw only familiar faces. Something that woke me up, was the fact that there was no way I could communicate with my friends who were successful. Whenever I tried to congratulate them, it was as if I appeared to be non-existant to them. Even as they bumped into me, they just walked on to the others as though nothing had happened.
Last Friday, the results were known. Today, the 8th of Februay 2010, the results were released. It might be disappointing, but, it wouldn't be fair to hog a vacancy for someone who's better wouldn't it? Back on Tuesday, 19th February 2008, it was similar to what I may have felt after waking, but today's pain, is nothing compared to what I felt that day. Not getting into the course I wanted badly migth have been a great deal back then, but it has become some sort of a blessing in disguise as my parents might put it. If not for that one extra point, all this might not have happened at all. I got a feeling, this time round, yet another blessing might be just round the corner, waiting for me to receive it.
The next challenge awaits!
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