Happy Chinese New Year to all.
Three days of pre-exam break has ended, providing a clear mind for the last 4 papers, the first in two days. Making this short, for each year it's more or less the same(minus the different things that happen each year, good or bad).
First Day, a visit to the temples, movie at Lido followed by dinner at Revenue house, and ending off with the first two visits of the year with cousins. Caught Percy Jackson ad the Lightning Thief at Lido at 4.30pm. It was a great movie from start till the climax, afterwhich the thrill just died off with the producers trying to rush the ending of the film in the last 30 minutes. The whole film lasted for more than 2 hours, inclusive of air time for the ads. Went for a Japanese dinner after that, ending off with a visit to my grandmother's and uncle's homes, just like last year.
Second day, I fell very ill, but managed to recover in 5 hours. 4am I woke feeling extremely weak, shivering violently, my throat sore, running a high fever. First thought, damn the timing. Somehow managed to fall asleep again, waking 2 hours later at 6am. Before that, was having a weird dream, of how I was having a photography class with some of the people I knew, at the now-gone block 73 lecture threatre. It ended off when I started worrying about forgeting to complete and submit my photographs on the last lesson. If not for the air conditioner which made me shiver so badly, I was going to have a really bad panic attack that morning. 3 hours later, I woke again, but it fet as though I was dreaming all night long. I had no fever, the air conditioner was running, but as usual, I wouldn't feel cold(the temperature was alway set at 25degrees), I could walk normally around the room. It felt like a dream, until I drank a glass of water. Sore throat. At least it was better than fever, and being unable to walk around, eat, drink or do anything for the rest of the festive season. Went to the market to getsome drinks with my father before heading home. Cousins from my father's side came over for lunch, and stayed till 4, before we went over to my cousins' place for dinner, before continuing on to visit another cousin's home.
The third day. We did not really go anywhere yesterday, for friends and relatives came to visit. The only day I really had some time for some revision.
Something new this year, I was doing the driving most of the time on the second and third day. On the first day, I drove with my uncle to the Revenue House, and on to my Grandmother's home after dinner. On the second day, I drove to the market and back, and later on in the afternoon, I went on my first drive with my cousin, my first time driving with someone who was also a probational driver(for it meant less stress for both drivers when it came to driving from point A to B in terms of travel time). On the third day, I drove my parents do dinner and back.
Today's the fourth day, and it was also time I started studying for the examinations again. Just 8 more days and I'll no longer be at level 2. This year is definitely going to be better than last year!
So much for thinking random thoughts. Whatever comes to my mind, comes alive in daily events, sooner or later. Lately, I have been able to 'see' things from a different perspective, that I doubt most would not be able to. Give me a movie scene, and I could imagine the cameraman filming the moment and the director directing the actors in their actions and lines while looking at the product of the efort they put in fr the particular scene. Give me a photograph, and I could imagine what happened shortly before and after the photograph was taken(I have never been told if those events have really happened, so I can't be sure if the images I imagined are 100% authentic). I can't wait for June.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
Yet Another Blessing In Disguise, Perhaps?
All things come in Threes. I'll make a list, before going on to my long story for the day. Lecture today was surprisingly short. Received an email with the opportunity to help change the school. Completed the final paper for ED, with the confidence of an A grade. Bad start for the test in school. Bad stomach upset in school. Did not make the interview for the trip.
This morning, I got out of bed without a good feeling. Subconsciously, my mind was telling me to sleep through the day. The dreams I had the night before, felt too good to be true. Reminds me of the morning of the posting results, though it was somewhat different. Dragged myself to school, as there was a test to be held at 8.30am. We were delayed till 9.20am, as here were some technical issues with the online test. We sat for a written test instead. Went to bind my assignments, but sadly, the lecturers were not in the office at the time. Dropped off the projects and went off for lunch. Went off to the washroom for an unpleasant start to the afternoon, before heading for the last lecture of the semester, which lasted an hour. Went for the final test, after some help from Hong Peng, which greatly boosted my chances of getting an A grade for the paper.
On 29th February, I spent 2 minutes in a room. I felt the same cold, dark feeling which I felt inside of me when I failed my first attempt at a driving test after a near accident with a primier taxi, when I left the room. Here's a copy of my Dream Journal, unedited, dated not too long ago, on Saturday, 30th January 2010. It was just a day after the interview, and I "saw" the results firsthand. What I have here, are notes, as the scenes in my dreams usually jump around from place to place(though the events are ironically able to link themselves together extremely well):
30th Jan'10
day: Sunday, 7th Feb'10 ??
time: late morning/ early afternoon
venue: some function room large enough to hold 40
Confirmation of OMF applicants(announcement by 2 members of panel)
>failed interview
>>students who were asked questions about selves, studies, trip-related = accepted(no names mentioned)
>>>first meeting for successful applicants held on 14th _____(month)??
>joel,glenn,sarah..
[END]
Apparently, the dream started with the flashback of the dialogue session held on the 28th. Somehow, after the session, when everyone went for another round of refreshments, a white board was brought in. A piece of paper covered the board. 2 members of the panel came in. Silence was in the air. One of them said,"students who were asked questions about yourselves, about your studies, or any trip-related questions would be accepted without ay questions asked." They left, without mentioning any names, and with the board remaining in the room. I accepted it as though nothing had happened. In the crowd, I saw only familiar faces. Something that woke me up, was the fact that there was no way I could communicate with my friends who were successful. Whenever I tried to congratulate them, it was as if I appeared to be non-existant to them. Even as they bumped into me, they just walked on to the others as though nothing had happened.
Last Friday, the results were known. Today, the 8th of Februay 2010, the results were released. It might be disappointing, but, it wouldn't be fair to hog a vacancy for someone who's better wouldn't it? Back on Tuesday, 19th February 2008, it was similar to what I may have felt after waking, but today's pain, is nothing compared to what I felt that day. Not getting into the course I wanted badly migth have been a great deal back then, but it has become some sort of a blessing in disguise as my parents might put it. If not for that one extra point, all this might not have happened at all. I got a feeling, this time round, yet another blessing might be just round the corner, waiting for me to receive it.
The next challenge awaits!
This morning, I got out of bed without a good feeling. Subconsciously, my mind was telling me to sleep through the day. The dreams I had the night before, felt too good to be true. Reminds me of the morning of the posting results, though it was somewhat different. Dragged myself to school, as there was a test to be held at 8.30am. We were delayed till 9.20am, as here were some technical issues with the online test. We sat for a written test instead. Went to bind my assignments, but sadly, the lecturers were not in the office at the time. Dropped off the projects and went off for lunch. Went off to the washroom for an unpleasant start to the afternoon, before heading for the last lecture of the semester, which lasted an hour. Went for the final test, after some help from Hong Peng, which greatly boosted my chances of getting an A grade for the paper.
On 29th February, I spent 2 minutes in a room. I felt the same cold, dark feeling which I felt inside of me when I failed my first attempt at a driving test after a near accident with a primier taxi, when I left the room. Here's a copy of my Dream Journal, unedited, dated not too long ago, on Saturday, 30th January 2010. It was just a day after the interview, and I "saw" the results firsthand. What I have here, are notes, as the scenes in my dreams usually jump around from place to place(though the events are ironically able to link themselves together extremely well):
30th Jan'10
day: Sunday, 7th Feb'10 ??
time: late morning/ early afternoon
venue: some function room large enough to hold 40
Confirmation of OMF applicants(announcement by 2 members of panel)
>failed interview
>>students who were asked questions about selves, studies, trip-related = accepted(no names mentioned)
>>>first meeting for successful applicants held on 14th _____(month)??
>joel,glenn,sarah..
[END]
Apparently, the dream started with the flashback of the dialogue session held on the 28th. Somehow, after the session, when everyone went for another round of refreshments, a white board was brought in. A piece of paper covered the board. 2 members of the panel came in. Silence was in the air. One of them said,"students who were asked questions about yourselves, about your studies, or any trip-related questions would be accepted without ay questions asked." They left, without mentioning any names, and with the board remaining in the room. I accepted it as though nothing had happened. In the crowd, I saw only familiar faces. Something that woke me up, was the fact that there was no way I could communicate with my friends who were successful. Whenever I tried to congratulate them, it was as if I appeared to be non-existant to them. Even as they bumped into me, they just walked on to the others as though nothing had happened.
Last Friday, the results were known. Today, the 8th of Februay 2010, the results were released. It might be disappointing, but, it wouldn't be fair to hog a vacancy for someone who's better wouldn't it? Back on Tuesday, 19th February 2008, it was similar to what I may have felt after waking, but today's pain, is nothing compared to what I felt that day. Not getting into the course I wanted badly migth have been a great deal back then, but it has become some sort of a blessing in disguise as my parents might put it. If not for that one extra point, all this might not have happened at all. I got a feeling, this time round, yet another blessing might be just round the corner, waiting for me to receive it.
The next challenge awaits!
Monday, February 01, 2010
January's Brush
The closing week of each month usually carry the most memorable moments. First long distance run of 15km in 2010,running the longest project marathon, completing 2 interviews that were running consecutively at 2 different locations, and ending off with a short reunion with camp mates.
The second year, is where relatively short timeframes for projects to be completed are implemented, either you're revising yur stuff, or you would be rushing to complete the last paragraph of a section in the report so that you could continue on the next section, and in turn complete and submit the project in time.
The last weekday of January, was a rather agonising day, where I noticed seconds lasting nearly as long as hours, and hours as long as a day. I had barely completed the final touches to our project, which was due for presentation that afternoon. In addition to the presentation, I was due for an important intervew, in which I was playing for extremely high stakes, with the probability of making it through being 11/20. Who wouldn't want to be part of a 2-week, heavily subsidised trip to another continent at the other side of the world? It's great thinking about the reward waiting on the other side of the pasture, but the path leading to it, is filled with countless mines and traps, threatening to stop me at my first step.
Fast forward to 3.50pm on Friday, I was about to get ready for a presentation, when a call arrived. It was my turn for the interview, when I was just about to get ready for the presentation. My mind, was filled with nothing but a white void. The walk to the Student Services Office seemed like an hour, when it took only 5 minutes. I felt as thouh I lost my voice upon arriving. 5 minutes later, I was invited into the room. For once, I felt traces of my voice return, only to realise that, I was unable to think clearly on my feet, which caused much panic. On the inside, I was calm, but on the outside, I was contanly tiking of what I should add on to my statement to make it better. Constant clashes led to a breakdown, and I simply paused. 5 seconds, 10 seconds, and I said a sentence or two to complete what I wanted to say.
In just 2 minutes(maybe more), I was touching the cold, metal handle of the doors which would return me to the comfort of my friends. I did not turn back, but kept moving forward. The same, cold, dark feeling which I felt inside me on my first driving test after commiting my first immediate failure mistake, returned once again, this time bringing with it double the agony. In your local drama, staying in the 'cell' for less than 5 minutes is akin to receiving the death sentence. For me, it meant brushing wih death and returning to life. It's just an experience like no other. If it wasn't my time yet, I would be receiving that golden ticket to board that plane. I have made the choice within those 2 minutes, to prove myself. It's now up to fate, to decide which path I should take at the crossroads in June. With no regrets, I shall now leave it aside for the timebeing, lest the ticket really did manage to find its way to me.
Back in the classroom, Yingfeng was concluding the presentation. There were only a couple of mistakes, but overall, he did really well.
Had a great evening letting the pain go with Cardus, Jaemeng and Jorge at Dhoby Ghaut that evening. If not for them, I might still be lying in bed, penning down every little regret I had, right after I left the room. After a great night(withut drinks, of course), I felt as though nothing had happened.
Just yesterday, went on a 6km run with Hongpeng at East Coast, revisiting part of the 42km route I ran back in December. I completd the run at my average time of 35minutes. Went home, slept the afternoon away, and drove my third return journey to dinner via expressway.
Today went pretty well, with lots of stuff being settled. Reached home, went for a short 4km run, with a feeling I had never felt before. With every step, I felt as though I was gliding on air. Never fel so great before. Wondering whether it was the reduced weight of my stomach(had my dinner only after the run), or it was the run I had the previous day which provided the boost. Completed the run in 22minutes.
Lately, I had been dreaming of stuff, which could happen on the same day I had the dream(which could freak me out at times), and thinking of random people at random times, and seeing them appear in front of me just a couple of seconds later.
Tomorrow, it's time to return to the books and projects.
The second year, is where relatively short timeframes for projects to be completed are implemented, either you're revising yur stuff, or you would be rushing to complete the last paragraph of a section in the report so that you could continue on the next section, and in turn complete and submit the project in time.
The last weekday of January, was a rather agonising day, where I noticed seconds lasting nearly as long as hours, and hours as long as a day. I had barely completed the final touches to our project, which was due for presentation that afternoon. In addition to the presentation, I was due for an important intervew, in which I was playing for extremely high stakes, with the probability of making it through being 11/20. Who wouldn't want to be part of a 2-week, heavily subsidised trip to another continent at the other side of the world? It's great thinking about the reward waiting on the other side of the pasture, but the path leading to it, is filled with countless mines and traps, threatening to stop me at my first step.
Fast forward to 3.50pm on Friday, I was about to get ready for a presentation, when a call arrived. It was my turn for the interview, when I was just about to get ready for the presentation. My mind, was filled with nothing but a white void. The walk to the Student Services Office seemed like an hour, when it took only 5 minutes. I felt as thouh I lost my voice upon arriving. 5 minutes later, I was invited into the room. For once, I felt traces of my voice return, only to realise that, I was unable to think clearly on my feet, which caused much panic. On the inside, I was calm, but on the outside, I was contanly tiking of what I should add on to my statement to make it better. Constant clashes led to a breakdown, and I simply paused. 5 seconds, 10 seconds, and I said a sentence or two to complete what I wanted to say.
In just 2 minutes(maybe more), I was touching the cold, metal handle of the doors which would return me to the comfort of my friends. I did not turn back, but kept moving forward. The same, cold, dark feeling which I felt inside me on my first driving test after commiting my first immediate failure mistake, returned once again, this time bringing with it double the agony. In your local drama, staying in the 'cell' for less than 5 minutes is akin to receiving the death sentence. For me, it meant brushing wih death and returning to life. It's just an experience like no other. If it wasn't my time yet, I would be receiving that golden ticket to board that plane. I have made the choice within those 2 minutes, to prove myself. It's now up to fate, to decide which path I should take at the crossroads in June. With no regrets, I shall now leave it aside for the timebeing, lest the ticket really did manage to find its way to me.
Back in the classroom, Yingfeng was concluding the presentation. There were only a couple of mistakes, but overall, he did really well.
Had a great evening letting the pain go with Cardus, Jaemeng and Jorge at Dhoby Ghaut that evening. If not for them, I might still be lying in bed, penning down every little regret I had, right after I left the room. After a great night(withut drinks, of course), I felt as though nothing had happened.
Just yesterday, went on a 6km run with Hongpeng at East Coast, revisiting part of the 42km route I ran back in December. I completd the run at my average time of 35minutes. Went home, slept the afternoon away, and drove my third return journey to dinner via expressway.
Today went pretty well, with lots of stuff being settled. Reached home, went for a short 4km run, with a feeling I had never felt before. With every step, I felt as though I was gliding on air. Never fel so great before. Wondering whether it was the reduced weight of my stomach(had my dinner only after the run), or it was the run I had the previous day which provided the boost. Completed the run in 22minutes.
Lately, I had been dreaming of stuff, which could happen on the same day I had the dream(which could freak me out at times), and thinking of random people at random times, and seeing them appear in front of me just a couple of seconds later.
Tomorrow, it's time to return to the books and projects.