Monday, February 01, 2010

January's Brush

The closing week of each month usually carry the most memorable moments. First long distance run of 15km in 2010,running the longest project marathon, completing 2 interviews that were running consecutively at 2 different locations, and ending off with a short reunion with camp mates.

The second year, is where relatively short timeframes for projects to be completed are implemented, either you're revising yur stuff, or you would be rushing to complete the last paragraph of a section in the report so that you could continue on the next section, and in turn complete and submit the project in time.

The last weekday of January, was a rather agonising day, where I noticed seconds lasting nearly as long as hours, and hours as long as a day. I had barely completed the final touches to our project, which was due for presentation that afternoon. In addition to the presentation, I was due for an important intervew, in which I was playing for extremely high stakes, with the probability of making it through being 11/20. Who wouldn't want to be part of a 2-week, heavily subsidised trip to another continent at the other side of the world? It's great thinking about the reward waiting on the other side of the pasture, but the path leading to it, is filled with countless mines and traps, threatening to stop me at my first step.

Fast forward to 3.50pm on Friday, I was about to get ready for a presentation, when a call arrived. It was my turn for the interview, when I was just about to get ready for the presentation. My mind, was filled with nothing but a white void. The walk to the Student Services Office seemed like an hour, when it took only 5 minutes. I felt as thouh I lost my voice upon arriving. 5 minutes later, I was invited into the room. For once, I felt traces of my voice return, only to realise that, I was unable to think clearly on my feet, which caused much panic. On the inside, I was calm, but on the outside, I was contanly tiking of what I should add on to my statement to make it better. Constant clashes led to a breakdown, and I simply paused. 5 seconds, 10 seconds, and I said a sentence or two to complete what I wanted to say.

In just 2 minutes(maybe more), I was touching the cold, metal handle of the doors which would return me to the comfort of my friends. I did not turn back, but kept moving forward. The same, cold, dark feeling which I felt inside me on my first driving test after commiting my first immediate failure mistake, returned once again, this time bringing with it double the agony. In your local drama, staying in the 'cell' for less than 5 minutes is akin to receiving the death sentence. For me, it meant brushing wih death and returning to life. It's just an experience like no other. If it wasn't my time yet, I would be receiving that golden ticket to board that plane. I have made the choice within those 2 minutes, to prove myself. It's now up to fate, to decide which path I should take at the crossroads in June. With no regrets, I shall now leave it aside for the timebeing, lest the ticket really did manage to find its way to me.

Back in the classroom, Yingfeng was concluding the presentation. There were only a couple of mistakes, but overall, he did really well.

Had a great evening letting the pain go with Cardus, Jaemeng and Jorge at Dhoby Ghaut that evening. If not for them, I might still be lying in bed, penning down every little regret I had, right after I left the room. After a great night(withut drinks, of course), I felt as though nothing had happened.

Just yesterday, went on a 6km run with Hongpeng at East Coast, revisiting part of the 42km route I ran back in December. I completd the run at my average time of 35minutes. Went home, slept the afternoon away, and drove my third return journey to dinner via expressway.

Today went pretty well, with lots of stuff being settled. Reached home, went for a short 4km run, with a feeling I had never felt before. With every step, I felt as though I was gliding on air. Never fel so great before. Wondering whether it was the reduced weight of my stomach(had my dinner only after the run), or it was the run I had the previous day which provided the boost. Completed the run in 22minutes.

Lately, I had been dreaming of stuff, which could happen on the same day I had the dream(which could freak me out at times), and thinking of random people at random times, and seeing them appear in front of me just a couple of seconds later.

Tomorrow, it's time to return to the books and projects.

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