Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Childhood. It's really long, yet I'm amazed I can vaguely remember facets of that past.

We took the same school bus, we played tag with the same group of friends, however, among us, I guess I was the worst off. I never really knew you very well until my second term of school 12 years ago. Back then, we were still small, extremely mischievous and fun-loving. Anything could become our topic of the afternoon or evening.

It was only when we were both 11, that we finally got to be in the same class. Shortly before that, fate had it that I should excel in my Mathematics when I was 10. That paper was the first since my first Semesteral Examination in Primary 1, where I could answer every question like a breeze, to the extent I looked in disbelief that I could solve a few 4 or 5-mark questions in just one, simple step.

When we were 8, we did something terrible yet weird, that was started and ended, by the same kid. Our early June holiday gift from him? A visit to the Principal's Office for an activity we took part in, but actions we were the victims of. Speak of not telling lies, when clearly, as kids, we had to tell them, for the opposite was more likely to be the real lie in their eyes. I remember there was once you said I got called to the Principal's Office with you, as we were throwing paper aeroplanes out the classroom window. Though I can't really remember it, maybe I did help you with a plane or two?

Well, after we graduated from Primary School, shortly after you came to my home for a barbecue. Can't really remember why, but that was how it was back then. Simple, yet enjoyable for all of us that evening. Ever since, we had been travelling on different routes, but the occasional plans of a girl and a few others who loved the occasional reunion of our P5/6 class, would bring our paths back together for a brief moment. Within those brief moments, we were able to catch up on the times, sometimes not noticing we had lost touch with one another until it was time for us to continue where we left off in our respective lives.

However, one thing's for sure, you still have your great sense of humour, and myself, I'm still kind of quiet in nature. And, our areas of study compliment each other, though we might not be working for the same company in future.

So much has passed, and it's simply wonderful to know that, I have at least one friend who's been there, walking with me since I was a kid, who had to climb onto a stool just to turn on the lights in a room. For everything we did right or wrong, but in the end the fun made it worth our while, I thank you.

Day 6-A Little Reunion

"Today, I went to Clarke Quay for a small, last minute reunion with 5 of my friends from Primary School. It's been sometime since we last met, but at least, some of us were able to make it this time round. Learnt lots of army stuff from the guys who enlisted earlier this year, and it sure helps to get me prepared for the next 2 years in life.

Though the 6 of us met for solely for dinner, the time spent together was worth it, though it was 2 hours. Just seeing one another, brings back lots of memories." Today, while spending time out with Yong Jie, Bryan(took me a few days to realise 'Lau lau' meant Bryan.), Ryan Ng, Andy and Nicole, helped me recall I had forgotten for 8 years, that I had once said my ambition after leaving primary school was to enter the Chinese High School(now known as Hwa Chong Instituition). I could only remember we had a Primary 5 camp at the hostel of the Chinese High School, but I could only remember faintly that we had a small sharing session one night, with us sitting in a circle. And I thought in Primary 6, after receiving my results, feeling glad I had never once dreamt, nor aspired to enter an elite school in the country(a thought which I lived by for the past 8 years).

After dinner, Nicole went off, while Bryan, Yong Jie, Ryan Ng and I walked around, had a small preview of the National Day Parade's fireworks, and went for some drinks at Boat Quay. I realised I shouldn't drink, for it makes my mind go into a state of overdrive, thinking lots of thoughts that contain the words " what if", which would only make me worry more about unnecessary stuff, which would make me sleepy.

Wanting for a conversation, yet knowing I have to make the first move. However, my feelings tell me to wait a little longer, so that I would be able to carry things well when the time comes. Since they've been right twice already, regardless of whether the outcome was going to be good or bad, I shall trust my feelings once again. Patience had always been the key to miracles.

"Journey" To The Past And Back

In the past week, my mind and subconscious travelled back in time. On Monday, I dreamt of me being 14 again, going to a polytechinic which looked like a secondary school.

During the rest of the week, my dreams were somehow filled with images of the past, showing what the future would be like if I made the choice to take a different route at each junction back in those days. My waking life over the week was miserable, filled with nothing more than sheer regret. It's the same thoughts of "Why didn't I have the courage to make the move back then? Why didn't I sign up for it? If only I hadn't done this, if only I had done that."

Wednesday, I had a dream, as a result of too much video games. Found myself in a boss fight with 2 other characters. One girl, and a knight. The knight refused to accept me for some reason, which I forgot what it was after I woke. The fight took place at a small village, defeated the boss, and moved on to a cave, where we fought off monsters. Somehow, we ended up at school, and fr some reason, we made our way to the SDAR office. There, for some reason, the knight finally accepted me, and things started happening at a fast rate. A girl(not the one I started out with), rushed to me, passing me a small, A5 sized ring binded booklet, its cover made of recycled paper. Along its left side, was 2 words spelled in capital, and 4 digits, in olive green colour. On the right, were 4 photographs, presumably from a tour. She said that she was there to pass me the booklet on behalf of a Dr. __________ (it's an Indian name). On it was a note, which was a message written to her asking to pass the booklet to me, his name was at the bottom of the note. I fell into a daze as I saw the cover page and flipped the booklet open. I woke after that. That evening, I wrote a message, which might not mean anything to the recipient, but it helped me let go.

On Friday, I went to Pizza Hut with the peeps from N4. On the way back, I 'saw' the girl who passed me the booklet in the dream I had on Wednesday. She asked for directions to the school, and ran off. So, in the dream, she passed me a booklet, while in person, she asked for directions. Weird.

In the evening, went to Kismis field for the ME fun day. The tug of war lasted 5 seconds, with us petite friends, losing to a bunch of muscular students. It wasn't demoralising at all, in fact, our bonds got stronger. Then came the relay. It was funny to meet the same opponents, but it was funnier to see how we reacted to one another's ways of completing his leg of the relay. Rushed off to meet Zheng Yan and Zihao for the barbeque at Toa Payoh.

We took 157, and arrived at 7. Someone said Ryan would be late, but she never mentioned which one. As a result, both were. Nearly the whole class was there that night, and it was a night worth remembering, although there was no stayover due to a low response. Went for supper at King Albert Park with Zheng Yan, Ryan Ng, Jing Hui, Chiahua and Gekshan. At 12.45am, Jing Hui and Ryan Ng accompanied back home for the night, after we saw Chiahua, Gekshan and Zhengyan off halfway during the journey.

In the morning, they left, and I headed off for Lakeside at 10.15am. I reached at 10.35, and met up with Zhong Rong and Zijie(Yes! I finally met him in person!). Zhong Rong gave mr Liew a call, which gave us the reassurance that we could crash the secondary 1 CCA Open House without any complications. Went on a tour, and noticed the changes in the school(not physical changes though). At 12, went to Jurong Point for lunch with Andy, Zhong Rong, Zijie and the juniors. Had a nice time getting to know them a little over lunch. 1pm, we went to take a group photo. Before that, a few more joined in. A strong sense of Deja Vu. Many thoughts ran through my mind at the time, and that, prompted me to tell someone something later that day. Whatever the dream was, don't think it would be appropriate to describe it here nor what I felt due to sensitive issues(leave me a message if you are serious about it).

Took the train home after taking the bus back. Finally, I could catch up on my sleep. That night, was probably the best night I had that week. Regrets that I had back in old school that I kept close to me, I finally let go that dreamless night.

Sunday, I had my first driving experience on the expressway. It was no different than driving on the road, except that with low mental stamina, I found it hard to concentrate, to maintain the vehicle's course within the lane, for it was always moving toward the right. Even as I kept to a speed of 60km/h which made things easy for me, I found myself starting to become mentally tired 15 minutes into the drive on the way home. It's better to be physically tired, than mentally tired, for the consciousness of an average person is way stronger than the physical strength of the strongest person alive.

So many things happened in a week, I found myself 'travelling' to the past and back, through gatherings and re-visits. On Monday, I opened my eyes to a whole new future. I am starting to let go of the past regrets which have, and will continue to prevent me from doing some things in the future. Only by letting go, would one find more roads to choose from. Looking forward with no regrets, is better than looking back and wondering if the choice made was the right one.

And A New Decade Begins

Leagues later, 2009 has become yet another completed chapter in the history book. 10.10pm on Friday, on 1st January 2010. A quick look back at 2009.

First 'adventurous' journey home from Merlion Park on 1st January 2009, on foot, which lasted 5 hours. First camp and sparring competition. My first overseas trip with the school. Started on my driving lessons in March. Formation of a new CCA. CCA orientation camp. Went on neighbourhood photo-taking tour in Bukit Panjang, Chua Chu Kang, Taman Jurong, Rivervale, Sengkang, Tampines, Kembangan, Siglap, Pasir Ris, Loyang and Changi. Downfall of a great friendship with friends whose faces I have never seen before. Got my third phone on Saturday,5 September. My second, and very likely, my last sparring competition. One star kayaking course at Pasir Ris Beach. First leadership camp in school. First Marathon, completed in 6 hours 50 minutes due to unexpected circumstances. Night cycling around the Eastern Park Connector Network on Sunday, 27th December.

2009 has been a year where countless lessons were learnt, and many fond memories forged. Met many great friends, learnt ways of finding out who was true, and who was not.

The past year was filled with more hardship and sorrow than happiness. Pressed badly for time due to many commitments and the lack of proper time management. Lost many things I held closely to compared to the bonds and memories I gained.

The last week of December 2009 has been a great one. Saturday,26th December, went to my Primary school teacher's home for a primary 5,6 class gathering after our last gathering 2 years ago. It was difficult indentifying some of us, as everyone of us had changed. Spent a day gaming, taking photographs and having dinner and supper together.

A day later, went out for night cycling and photograph taking tour of sights seen along the Eastern Park Connector Network with three friends(after the first attempt in September failed due to torrential rain and time constraints). With that, I have become more aquianted with the Eastern part of the country, though some areas are not the safest places to be after midnight. Monday, reached home, packed, headed back to school for a last minute meeting.

Tuesday, had my driving instructor on his last day at the school. Wednesday, rushed to complete part of a project in school before going to the bus stop to meet some friends, beore heading off to Toa Payoh. That day, was the first time we had more than 10 volunteers helping out, delivering food to the senior citizens in the town. The night before, I had a dream of myself with a friend, helping two girls in finding their direction. It did not dawn upon me unil later that afternoon at 4.45pm, that I would be meeting them, though their looks were slightly different from the images I 'saw' in the dream the previous night. Met 2 new friends, and a former room mate at the previous camp. we completed our area in 45 minutes, before heading off to the HDB hub for dinner.

Thursday, went for my last driving lesson before the new year. Did not have much major problems, except for the minor mistakes that I never found out. In the evening, went for a 9 kilometre run that lasted 55 minutes, before watching a disappointing countdown party on television, and keeping watch of a blue moon from 1 till 4am.

Today, rushed part of my project, before continuing to Orchard Cineleisure with family to catch Avatar 3D at 1.50pm. It was a great movie, currently the best movie I have ever caught at a cinema. The graphics, cinematics and plots were espeially stunning. I had two dreams of the plot over a span of three days, which kind of gave me a short preview of the movie. Went shopping, before heading over to Jurong East for dinner after going home.

2010 began with a bang like the previous years, however, I have a gut feeling, that this year, things would be unimaginably great. Miracles would unfold. I don't know how, but I just know it, that 2010 would be a year that is filled with more pleasant memories compared to previous years.

2010, I see you. Top 3 resoultions(I'm still thinking of more to fill in). Finding you, because I just haven't met you yet. Finding my first GPA of 4.0. A chance to travel to places I have never been to.