This month started very roughly, though the first two days gave a feel that could not be described with words alone. The days after that, the mood took a plunge. I lost my drive to study and all just within a matter of minutes.
Only on Wednesday did things start to pick up, I regained my drive to study and slack out when there was time to do so, and I took really good notes during the Engineering Materials lecture. Although I have yet to read through the notes, it feels as though I have got about 50% of he whole lecture in my mind already!
On Thursday, I guess I slacked so much, that I did not go to school at all, ending up with me skipping the taekwondo training. I guess that would be the last time this term that I would skip training, and attend the full schedule of two trainings a week from next week onwards. Had a dream this morning, and, someone asked me why she hadn't seen me at training since I joined. I can't really remember who it was though. It ended with me making a promise not to skip any training in future, but I think, maybe I should attend trainings regularly for the rest of this term at least, and see how I cope, for currently, I can see the faint shine of the gold medal, though at the same time it seems to be very far away.
Today, it feels almost as though I am back to normal. During the Math lecture, somehow I felt a surge of energy when the lecturer asked for a volunteer to answer the last question. I walked up, took the marker and just wrote on the board. That was the first time I did a question on the board without any signs of fear, and even the size of the figures and words was large and clear enough to be seen by the last person in the room, similar to the sizes of words written by lecturers. The Academic Award Presentation was the highlight of today, and it sure was a rare moment. I still remember the very first duty I had before joining the society as a sub-committee member. Jun Jie said that, after the April semester, he would see me walking up to collect the award. I told him that it was impossible, as I had never received any award like that before. So, all the more it was tougher for me to be receiving an award in a highly competitive environment. Met up with Shyam and his friends after that, and as I had problems connecting to the Internet, I decided to take the risk and rush home and leave myself with just 10 to 15 minutes to complete my E-learning assignment for Basic German 102. I was sort of lucky enough to reach home at 7.50pm, and finish everything before 9pm, though the session was supposed to have ended at 8pm. Here is a snap shot of the certificate:
Tomorrow,it's highly likely that I'm going to buy a tablet so that I can do some writing on the computer, and at the same time help others along with Math. In the afternoon, I'm going to meet Andy, collect the tickets from him for the concert at SP, before going to West Mall to try to get a tablet that costs 80 bucks, then head over to Dover to meet up with Zhong Rong and Taufik(So sorry I forgot the last letter of your name).
I have decided, to just let it go, allow the flame to be reduced to ashes, let it die off slowly. The gates shall be closed within the next month, and who knows when it could open again?
If only I had my heart and soul fully focused on studying back then, and not worry about which fish I wanted to catch in the wide sea. So, I guess, the award I received today, was definitely achieved with luck alone. I had put in effort as well, without worrying about which fish I was going to catch in the open sea. Till that day comes again, which I hope would not come soon, I will strive for a perfect score of 4.
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