6.4 Revving Up

Everything's in place, all set for the move. Another month down, three to go. This week was filled with uncertainty, though academically things were looking great. E learning totally sucks, though it meant we get more freedom and time to rush our projects. Nearing completion, we're getting ready for the final panel.

We proved that we could use mirrors to reflect the energy from the focal point on Monday, Tuesday was spent at the Dental Center, First test on Wednesday, E learning on Thursday and Friday. The rest of the time was spent on relaxing, manufacturing, preparation of the final one, and procrastination. It's been getting rather serious lately. In the past it wasn't even there. In August, maybe earlier, it just came. Wonder what's wrong. Thought it would leave me alone once it's had its share of the cookie. It stayed. I might lose friends if it goes on that way. Hope I can overcome it soon, before more damage is done.

The past few days, I related my daily happenings to dreams I had over the years. Slowly but surely, I'm beginning to see everything falling into place, every action and decision making some sense. Maybe, that's how my life was supposed to be. Either I wasn't meant to be living that way, or something out there, is making things more challenging for me, making every effort I made worth the while.

Till I Find You

Walking on streets,

Winding through avenues,

Wondering under bridges.

Journeying through seasons,

Juggling under spots,

Joking on memories.

Dwelling under stars,

Dreaming on nights,

Designing through friendships.

Till I find you. Wait there.

A poem composed from words or whole phrases from titles from Yiruma's albums. Dedicated to a friend, I guess?

Good Start, Slowing Progress?

We had a great start to the semester. Things seemed to be picking up really well over the past 3 weeks. However, today, I felt lighter, as though something was taken off my back. I feel so relaxed. Imagine laying down on a busy road, with vehicles passing at 100km/h, feeling the strong winds blowing against your face.

I have no idea why the sudden relaxation. It was as though a part of me was very motivated and determined to get the job done, yet another was dying for a break, to leave things for the next day.

Something's not right. One moment I was going through the pages, checking for errors and adding details to beautify the paper, the next I was preparing for a trip to Dreamland. It went on the whole day, I didn't know how to continue the day, except to give in, head home and continue from there. So far, it's been better, though by not much. Something like this has never happened before.

Tomorrow, if it's going to be the same, I rather spend the first half of the day at home, cycle to school at 11.30, work on a workpiece, carry out a few tests, cycle home at 4.

Could it be that somehow it's linked?No idea what's been with me lately.

3rd Week: Uncertainty

Reaching the next point, it's a recharge station. It's one where you could relax, and ponder over which of the possible routes to take in front of you. Oh, and you're not supposed to stop for a break, even though you would be stuck there for a short moment. I'm there.

My doubts are cleared, I know, and am able to see the deadline drawing closer, I have other things to consider. I have many different options, each with a set of challenges. Some options carry a similar set of challenges, each with a different weight, though in the end the weights sum up to a hundred. If you did your math, yes I have got hundreds of possible routes I could journey forth from this station. Question is, which one?

The present is definitely important, but isn't the future going to be of a greater importance? As much as I would want to live to the fullest, this hour could possible be my last. What happens today, shapes the future. Should I make the move now? Or should I let it linger close to me for a little longer, and making it happen once I'm ready? Many choices, one decision. Many journeys, one future.

I am a dreamer. I'm like a kid. I want the best case for everything, for everything to go smoothly and well, without the slightest possibility of a failure. I see my options through, thoroughly, like a dream. However, whenever I dream, I lose track of my crafting skills, that's where trouble comes.

Last night, I had a dream. Similar to one I had some time back, travelling on a train, and going to some place. This time, I did not know where I was heading with a group of people, don't know how many, but with at least 3 others. It was 11am, the dream started with me entering a train, joining a group of people. As I traveled, somehow I came to know of a few friends. We alighted at an underground station, and we took a bus to somewhere. Throughout, we were having a great conversation, breaking the ice, sharing about our interests. I did not know how it continued or ended as I woke abruptly at 6am.

Unknowingly a little later I fell asleep and this time I was in front of my computer, noticing someone logging in. Wondering who it was, I decided to start a short conversation, which soon developed into something deeper. The alarm rang at 6.30am, and there, soon I was getting ready for school, unable to know how it continued and eventually ended.

How should I go on? I'm ready for the dive, but I'm not sure how I'm going to land. Should I go ahead, or think it over?

4th Panel

If you're soft spoken, you would be deprived of a chance to save your group's reputation when bombarded with questions from the panel. Always knew that, but I would always be left out. Fastest tongues first. Apparently, in my case, fastest did not necessarily mean best answer. I don't know if I should have simply raised my hand, so that my team could let me share my part of the answer with everyone in the room, or do what I did best, step aside, remain silent and observant, noticing time and again, how one answer led the panel on a wild goose chase.

Time management. If time were so merciful, I bet we would all be getting A after A for our assignments and assessments. Though I was determined to do better, the effort I had put in for the past 7 days was still pathetic. Barely a month to go before the common tests, and 20 days before the product has to be 100% complete.

It's over, time to pick my scarred self up, and continue walking. Falling doesn't seem to hurt anymore, which is probably why it's harder to push myself forward. I made the same promise to a few close friends, to do better. I promised myself, straight As with room for only 1 B this semester. I admire, and wonder how a rare breed, who cry when they fall and suffer a minor scratch, pick themselves up after a moment, and sprint, instead of inching forward in what might seem to them to be excruciating pain. Tonight, I shall remain in that muddy spot while I fell this afternoon. Tomorrow, I shall wake, stand up, and make the sprint toward the finish line which seems miles away. I won't give in, till I pass that red line.

4 More Months

4 more months to live, as a Polytechnic student. A week had passed, and it's November. It feels like I had just started on my first semester. I decided to keep the knowledge, discard the attitudes I had towards learning. Start from scratch, and hopefully, accelerate, and take off to what could be a nice finish to my three year journey.

The past week seemed to be an introduction, felt some intensity, but still manageable. Monday felt like a holiday when it shouldn't, since we were struggling to get back on our feet to re-route. The other days, we were making some progress, finally. The real challenge, begins tomorrow. Within a month, I'll need to gather enough momentum through lots of effort, if not, I'll start losing speed the same way I did for the past 4 semesters.

The night before, I celebrated my first Halloween night with the Toasties. Quan, Yee Tat, Hafiz, Dennis, Danial, Zarifah and I went over to Kim's place for dinner, movie and a computer game, all in the name of horror. The journey there wasn't that bad, with the start being kind of nice, when I saw people, young and old, families even all dressed up for a Halloween Celebration at an International school nearby. I realised I was going to be late when I passed Ang Mo Kio Hub at 7pm, when I was supposed to be meeting the group in another 30minutes! I asked a friend for help, so that I could gauge how late I was going to be, and I found out only 10 minutes before I arrived, which was at 7.30pm(without her help). That was, before she disclosed the amount of time I had to travel from my current location that evening till I arrived at the interchange.

Bought dinner after meeting them, and we walked 5 minutes to her home. We watched Mirrors, a movie I heard earlier this year at the loft, if I'm not wrong, Melissa was re-telling a movie to a group of us, and that particular movie fitted everything she described! 10.30pm, we went to take a trip down to a hotel, for a cyber night walk.

The journey home, I was wondering if I could make it back without being overly suspicious of my surroundings. Things went rather fine, and I took the unlikely last 147 home last night at 11.40pm, 10 minutes after the last bus had departed for Clementi. 2 hours and 20 minutes later, I got home. That's when the real fear got to me. Last night, I took a bath in the bathroom which had the smallest mirror, and slept with the lights on. Hopefully it won't be the same tonight. I had never watched a horror movie before, and that was my first.

Anyway, I had a dream this morning, where it was somewhere in December, during the common test period. There was a werewolf 'virus' loose in campus, started by an unknown person. Each day, a close friend of the werewolf would be hunted down right after the paper. Just observe, a group of students running down that slope each day in school. Shortly after, that stretch of road becomes completely deserted, and you hear a long, loud howl. Shortly after, you could hear slow, loud panting from a human, except you could expect it wasn't human. Once it spots someone it recognized, it charged forth, claiming its prey.

On a Thursday, one of my classmates was IT. We had a paper the next day, so we could be sure that the 'virus' was here to stay, at least till Sunday. There was a cure, but I woke up before I could learn what it was. For the paper, I left the moment the paper was done, and since I had a second paper in the afternoon, I stayed at the co-op stall in the new building. It was red, so I had the thought it would be safe there, at least. Oh and for some reason, the werewolf would strike only 5 minutes after a paper had ended, and each time, it ran down the hill. However, no one knows how or when the victim would revert to his or her normal self after that. A short description would be it had a nice coat of dark grey, white and black fur (imagine a German Shepherd dog standing 2 meters tall) and once it started running, one could hardly trace it with his or her own eyes. All it took, was to be bitten or scratched, to become the next IT. A group of friends came to join me soon afterward. Since the group of us stayed around the same place, we decided to meet there at 4.50pm, and regardless or whether anyone was late, we would leave at that time. I left the room at 4.30pm with a few others. Foolishly, we all walked down the hill, since I told them I was going to the new block 73. I met my friends there, and while my friend was paying for a drink he bought, another friend who was there with us, started to morph. Everyone dashed out. One of my friends looted a few snacks and bottles of drink before we made it out to the main road. I woke up when I noticed IT charging to the bus stop.

It's November tomorrow. Barely a month to go. I don't really care if it'll become a reality. I just want to do what I can, with what I have and know...

Last Week of the Last Polytechnic Vacation

In a few minutes, it's going to be the last week of my last polytechnic semester vacation. After that, it's going to be the final sprint(not the actual final sprint yet). 3 years sure came by really fast.

I found the courage to sing along with the Toasties during the extra night we spent at the Loft.

Today, just went home, bathed, slept, had lunch, slept, drove around with parents, ate, shopped, drove home after picking my brother up after his tuition, slept, had dinner, watched television, ran, bathed, watch television, and I'm back here. At least I feel more comfortable driving with my parents, more relaxed. When I tried driving barefoot, I realised although it was harder to step on the pedals, I was able to feel the exact amount of force I needed to apply the brakes and accelerator, hence I felt as though I had full control of the car, up to 70 kilometers per hour.

Tomorrow, it's going to be a great day!

Sorry I wasn't of much help earlier, other than lending a 'listening ear'...

First Camp of my First Polytechnic CCA

Today I just attended the first camp of my first CCA in the Polytechnic. Kind of a bad time, as I'm recuperating from a bad sore throat. Met up with Yee Tat and Kim outside the library to help them with the printing of stuff for the Ngee Ann Polytechnic Student Toastmasters Camp 2010, the first Toastmasters Camp in Ngee Ann.

It was the first time we planned a camp together, and it was also the first time I was part of the organizing committee of a camp. I was doubling up as the media crew and first aider for the camp.

So far the first day went well, though there was a major hiccup with the accommodation, but other than that, everything else went really well! My final Semester Vacation at Ngee Ann Polytechnic is coming to an end in less than 2 weeks, and I feel as though my motivation is increasing at breakneck speed under increasing acceleration, as I make it to the start line for my final sprint.

If only...no, I can do it.

FYP Transition

It's Monday again. I rather have the blues, than to be recovering from a flash fever that striked early Sunday morning, shortly after the thunder storm arrived. Had planned to start my headstart into the final leg of my polytechnic education that morning, but, it just came. It's the third time this year already.

Had trouble falling asleep on Sunday morning, so I decided to go look up some stuff for the project. It helped a little, and I finally went to lay down in bed. There was some kind of warmth I had been feeling since 10 on Saturday night, but it wasn't the kind of warmth that was feverish. 12am, it subsided. 2.45am, in bed, I felt rather queasy. Tried to sleep, which I did for only an hour at best. When I woke, I was shivering badly, felt the world spinning as though I was taking a ride at a theme park attraction(the spinning tea cup ride). Tried to sleep it off, but found it hard as I was afraid I would throw up(my stomach seemed to be very uncomfortable at certain positions). In the end, I simply lay flat in bed, waiting for 6am to arrive. 5.45am, I gave up waiting, and went to take a bath, before I finally fell asleep, for 2 hours. Finally took some medication, and slept all the way till 11am. Felt well, except that when I got up and tried moving around, it felt heavy.

At least this morning when I was woken up by a weird dream at 5.45am, I felt almost well again, though I still felt heavy. Dreamt that I was still at the F1 event, instead of working, I was among the spectators at the paddock this time round. Can't really remember much, except that all the drivers carried bananas in their hands after exiting. What was amazing was, the top 3 drivers switched cars that had no engines, or bicycles that had been modified to look like the normal F1 cars, for their victory lap.

The second dream I dreamt after waking, was more realistic? I was walking to the market 500m away from home with a shopping list in hand, but somehow I entered a fast food restaurant(maybe it was a food court, can't remember either, but it looks like the KFC at West Mall) later on, and shortly after I found myself following someone(can't remember if it was a kid or someone else) to a few blocks of flats, before I lost him or her at one of the void decks. I started running, and headed back for the fast food restaurant, after I remembered I forgot to pick up the food I ordered. When I left again, I saw some decorated truck(like those used in funeral processions) and for some reason, I remembered I should not be running since I was still recovering from my fever(a result of lucid dreaming).

Went to school today, things seemed well, except that the weather wasn't on our side today. After spending 3 hours in school, I felt it returning. I find it rather weird, since for the past 2 times, I recovered fully from the flash fevers within 12 hours. Went home with the smaller lens to do my own testing over the weekend, and after the storm clouds came, I took a bath, and went to get some sleep. In the evening, planned on what to do next with my dad.

Tomorrow, it's a visit to the dentist once again, though I doubt I'll be removing my braces before the end of the year. Maybe before June next year?

Feeling a little guilt each time I message when the sun is in the sky, but yet I still find myself typing away on the keyboard. Why is that?

Injury Day

The day I felt as though I was being bombarded with 'hurt' missiles. First one came at 5.58am. I was on high alert when I slept the night before, since today's Childrens' Day! Ok, not. I only wanted to make sure I had received an sms of my results, but I wouldn't want to read it till at least 10am when I'm half awake(usual when I have slept for 10 hours). He woke me with an invitation to have dim sum with a group of friends next week. Really apprectiate the offer, but sadly I can't attend due to a school event on the same day. I really did want to see my results till 10am, after enjoying another 4 hours of peace.

Typed my worries into a message, and sent it to a friend, who said it like someone talking in his sleep, except that it was in the form of a message. Oh well, at least it helped!

7am till 9am, my mum was trying to get me out of bed, to get to school to get some progress on my project. I did not dare break the news till I came home, so I just made it seem as though I wanted to just sleep the morning away. It worked. Before that, I was dreaming of my results. I remember there was one where I got nothing more than straight Cs, another I got what I hoped for, As and Bs. And the last, I dreamt I woke at 12pm, and my parents were home talking about my attitude and why I haven't left home for school, leaving me no chance to check my results. The moment she left home for my grandma's after I woke at 9.45, I looked at my results. Simply horrible. Nothing else to say. I deserved it in a way. It's the worst result I had ever had since I started my polytechnic journey. I had been holidaying for the past 12 months. It is time to wake from the dream, and chase it from where I left off 2 years ago.

In the afternoon, I kept making careless mistakes while still affected by my results, resulting in a scratch, crushing my own finger, burning another finger, and temporary blindness from staring at the intense light for way too long. Even till now, I'm seeing a tiny green shadow somewhere in the middle of my sight. However, that did not stop me from going on an 11km run and finishing it in 63minutes and 24 seconds.

The weekend, is no longer there for relaxation. 3 weeks to the start of my final semester(I don't want it to be the last in my educational journey). It's time to prove that I have what it takes to make it to a university. Plans. Local, definitely Engineering, or something related to Interior Design. Overseas, Highly likely it's going to be Engineering or Interior Design, or Medicine(nothing's impossible ya).

Making it known, I feel better.

First Work Experience

Extreme. The first day alone was enough to kill, but the friends I made there was what kept me going. A great experience I won't forget, although it was a job I didn't enjoy due to my quiet nature, it has indeed made me stronger, one way or another. I knew I was going to be very tired at the end of each day, but I never expected I would fare so badly to be the first to fall from exhaustion every night.

On the way home the last night, I wondered. If I had a family, perhaps, I should be the sole breadwinner. As long as I enjoyed what I did, and I could provide for everyone, I wouldn't mind spending only the weekends with them.

Today, it's back to school, and things did not go well. We were unable to carry out our experiments as the sun was blocked by the clouds, preventing us from locating the focal point of the lens from our structure.

First Day at My First Job

After procrastinating for 3 years, I finally got a vacation job. Went to do some stock taking and packing. It's very similar to the sorting period of Operation Juvi, except that this time the manpower was less than half than the night shift of the operation carried out back in July, and we were dealing with more than just clothes! We came across many merchandises, and started making our very own "to buy" list! Somewhere on the job, I guess I over exerted myself, and caused the injury that had almost recovered from the NAPFA test, to return. Hope I can recover before returning to work again later in the week, where the real fun begins.

That aside, I took a super long journey home again, by bus. I started off at 6.05pm at Aljuned on board SBS 40 bound for Bedok(my self declared regional bus terminal), arriving at 6.42pm. I waited for SBS 14 instead of 196 and 7 which were also bound for Clementi Temporary Interchange, though those 2 buses came way earlier at such high frequencies, as I wanted to see how it would be possible for me to travel home via that bus service if I happened to drop by Sean's place in future. At 6.53pm, the bus arrived, and the first thing I saw out the window, was the moon, almost showing it's full roundness. 2 more days to the Mid-Autumn Festival, which would mean a full moon.

The journey on the bus alone lasted 2 full hours! Adding the total travel time and waiting times together, I would have spent a total of 3hours, or 180 minutes(a new record)! With that, I can safely declare that I can survive the journey on board a budget airline to the neighbouring countries without much problems(even if I was very hungry before the flight). I had dinner only after I reached home at 8.45pm.

Tomorrow, it's back to school for my Final Year Project.

Felt like calling, as there's much to say, but on second thought, I guess I should just hold on till the weekend. You deserve your fair chance in your final sprint too, just like everyone else.

September'10 Vacation Birthday Surprise

Today was supposed to be a long day, but things turned out well. I woke up this morning, with the bottom half of my body in great pain. I guess I had pushed myself really hard yesterday during the walk around Pasir Ris with Jon(though I was already walking at a snail's pace).

In the afternoon, went out with my parents for lunch, before heading to school to surprise Melissa a day after she turns 18. Well, wouldn't say this was the best surprise ever, since she was always the one behind all the birthday surprises so far. I reached school at 2.19pm, but no one had arrived, so I gave Kim a call, and she was kind of depressed. Decided to help cheer her up by going all the way to Coronation Plaza to meet her. I seldom enjoy waiting for others alone. When I took my first step into the building, she called. I mistook her for a maid? Beside her was the cake and many other stuff that she and the others had prepared for the surprise! She had to do everything, as Iqbal and the others had a workshop and were unable to help us with the preparations. Though you were on the verge of breaking down from the stress of preparation, thanks for taking most of the trouble upon yourself!

Met up with Dandan, Shen Faye, Xinying and Jiamin when we arrived at 3. Slowly the others joined as time passed. We struggled to complete the custom made gift prepared by everyone she knew, before we left at 5.30pm. Till now, though some of them said the holder looks nice, I don't think I tied the card holder nicely. In fact, I guess credit should go to Shen Faye for helping me with the final touches, which brought the handicraft to perfection. The string looks worn from my rough handling! Looking forward to meeting them again soon...

The weekends would be a good time to recuperate from my muscle aches and preparation for my first job assignment coming up the coming week.

I guess maybe I should have returned 10 minutes earlier to at least bid goodbye, since things ended at the same time tonight. Perhaps I had disappointed. Anyways, enjoy the weekends!

SG "Tour"-Day 5;2010 (Pasir Ris)

The tour was kind of a last minute plan that I came up with this morning. Here's the actual deal for today.

I wake at 9, head to school from 10 to 11am for a module experience interview for the School of Interdisciplinary studies, before I head home to watch my fingernails grow.

I did the first part of the main plan. Many muscles in my body were aching the moment I woke. Somehow, I was still able to go about doing the usual stuff almost without any difficulty, except walking. The impacts of the 5 hard landings on the standing broad jump mat the day before has caused some injuries to my legs. I went off to school, and the interview went rather well! Claire, my compere, was surprised my tutor wasn't Ms Adelaine, as she was the one who had recommended me to go for the interview. My tutor for 1COMT was Madam Rosita, who taught and helped me in the module almost 2 years ago.

At 10.45am, I was done. I rang up my mum, and arranged to meet her at my Grandma's. Met my dad and the 3 of us went for lunch till 1pm. When I arrived at 11.40(after a 30-minute bus ride on board SMRT 61), my mum asked if any of my friends had asked me out during the holidays, then she asked about John and Jon. Jon returned the reply I sent him asking if he was free later in the afternoon or tomorrow morning earlier this morning. I had thought he stayed at Tampines, so perhaps I could go for a walk with him around the whole of Tampines(thanks to the photograph of the flat I took earlier on Monday during the Exco meeting). Instead, he told me his home was 5 minutes away from White Sands at Pasir Ris. Thus, it was decided we would be spending approximately 3 hours walking around Pasir Ris.

I rushed home, changed my clothes, packed my laptop, hard disk, and my camera and lens before setting off, all within 10 minutes. I left home and boarded the 1.46pm SMRT 106 for Clementi Station. As I was short on time, I decided to take the train instead. I had to make a total of 2 to 3 transfers if I had to take a bus there, which could last anywhere between 60minutes and 3 hours.

After passing Kallang, I noticed the designs of school uniforms of some schools in the East had the same design as some schools in the West(Alright. Random observation).I arrived at Pasir Ris at 2.45pm. At 3.10pm, we set off, our first stop, Pasir Ris Town Park. I had no idea why I wanted to go walking around. I felt as though something had been planned, so all I had to do was to get it going. What's more, my legs were still hurting, but when we walked, I practically felt no pain. Wow. What's more, I had been standing the moment I left home.

I'll let the pictures do the talking on the sights I saw with Jon. We talked about many things, school, colour schemes of the flats, possible costs, differences in accessibility by public transport between old and new estates, just to name a few.

At 5.45pm, as planned, we went on our ways, I would embark on my longest bus journey yet within the city state, while Jon would return home to prepare for a dinner with his friends later that evening.

5.46pm I ran for SBS 88, but missed it when I thought passengers were still queuing for the bus, and the moment I started walking, the bus left. I realised the queue was for another bus service! For some reason, all the bus services I had to use to travel around, always had to be at the extreme end of the Interchange(especially for SBS services).4 minutes later, another double decked bus arrived, and I boarded it. 88 was bound for Toa Payoh Interchange, the interchange closest to home without taking the train. I started uploading the photographs into my computer the moment the left Pasir Ris. Somewhere along the way, I looked out the window. I saw the void deck of a yellowish flat, with the table I saw in a dream not too long ago. I continued looking out. One by one, I started to remember places I saw in my dreams. Within the minute, dreams and thoughts flooded my carefree mind, akin to titanic waves of water gushing toward after breaking free from a collapsed dam. That, was really scary. At the moment, I had the strong urge to alight from the bus to take a cab home. Shortly after ward, I turned off my laptop the moment the uploads were done, and I took a nap. I woke up at Ang Mo Kio, and the first thing I saw, was a real life crime scene. I had thought it was the mock up by mediacorp. I was wrong. Officers were placing number cards beside fragile traces of evidence and the area was cordoned off. Even passer-bys and residents were looking on with great curiosity! That, was the first time I saw the real thing.

I did the usual, thinking about many things, like what I usually do on long bus journeys, ultimately reaching no conclusion or answers to those thoughts. 80 minutes after leaving Pasir Ris, I arrived at Toa Payoh at 7.10pm. The moment I got up, I fell back onto my seat. My legs were hurting once again. Badly. But, how was that possible? Perhaps, I had walked too much for one afternoon. Perhaps, someone out there was playing tricks on me. I simply thought, 'it was all pre-planned. I just had to make things happen.'.

I walked slowly toward the last berth(yes, again) where SBS 157 was. There was a queue where I lost my footing while trying to evade two passengers who wanted to queue behind a girl I was walking past. I brushed hard against her bag(hope it did not cause her any injury), and left quickly as I saw the bus reverse from parking. I eventually caught the bus.

I slept through most of the journey back to Bukit Batok Interchange, on the bus bound for Boon Lay Interchange. I arrived at the bus interchange 50 minutes later at 8pm. I missed SMRT 106 as I could not run for the bus. I waited instead, and boarded SMRT 77, bound for Marina Centre, at 8.10pm. I reached home at 8.20pm, a grand total of 150 minutes after leaving Pasir Ris! That has got to be the longest bus journey I had ever taken!

Till now, I still have the feeling that everything that happened today, was pre-planned. I simply did whatever came to mind, without thinking so much.

Heroes of Love

That was the theme of tonight's Toastmasters Formal Meeting. I don't know how to describe it in words, but it made it to my list of top 3 meetings! Gurion's voice was heavenly, I just felt like leaking a few drops of tears.

Before that, I had my NAPFA test. The result was rather unexpected. I did not expect to do so well for my sit ups, shuttle run and chin-ups. I was expecting to get at best, a D grade for all the test items. The only station where I under performed, was the standing broad jump, my worst nightmare since I took my first NAPFA at 9. I missed the D grade by a mere centimetre! I landed hard on 216cm, 1cm shy of 217cm. There goes my 1year and 10months of national service. The 2.4km was a breeze, as usual, except that I slowed down into recovery on the last lap upon seeing that my time was 9.29 minutes. My timing was 11.18. If only that was 11.11. Oh well. I'm so going for a retest.

Tomorrow, I'm going to school early for a module experience interview for the school of IS. Hope it goes well!

Thank you for the encouragement and conversation this evening! It saw me through the night. Just worried the last one might have cause a relapse of some tension..

Gundam Fiesta @ Compass Point 2010

Today was a great start to my second last Semester Vacation in a Polytechnic.

In the morning, I left home at 9.45am on board SMRT Service 106 for Dover MRT Station to have my passport photograph taken for a job during the F1 week. However as there was no photo booth there, I was forced to take a train to Commonwealth or I'll risk being late to meet my friends at Orchard station at 11am. I had my photograph taken, and boarded SBS Service 111 headed for Orchard MRT Station, arriving at 10.55am. I met Zhi Chyim and Eugene at 11.05, and we walked to our destination to submit our photographs, before walking to the bus stop opposite Far East Plaza at 11.25 to take SMRT Service 171 back to King Albert Park. At 11.55am, I boarded SMRT Service 77 home, while they transferred to school on SBS Service 74.

I spent 105 minutes at home, playing on my laptop and packing for a set of long bus rides in the afternoon. First, I would be heading for Compass Point at Sengkang, to take some photographs at the second Singapore Gundam Fiesta. I would then take a bus either to Bedok or Tampines from there(I was so engrossed in my game I forgot to check if any bus could take me straight to Tampines or a bus interchange nearby, and of course, I did not check if any bus services could take me closer to home from Tampines). Of course, if there's a shortage of time, I would have to travel by the Mass Rapid Transit train(which would be a minus for me as I only have a concession pass for travel by bus).

I checked the bus arrival at my bus stop. SMRT Services 189 and 106 were arriving at 1.46pm and 1.42pm respectively, and again at 1.55pm. I left home at 1.45pm, and boarded 189 which arrived at 1.55pm. I reached Clementi MRT Station at 2pm, arriving at the Temporary Bus Interchange(probably my first Regional Bus Station) 7 minutes later. I boarded SBS Service 156 bound for Sengkang Bus Interchange(my first long distance bus ride for the day, with an estimated travel time of 60minutes) at 2.14pm. The first part of the journey felt rather fine, as I was travelling on familiar soil. However, some time after passing through Bishan, I started to feel as though I was travelling in a foreign land. The change was subtle, yet I had mixed feelings. Although in my mind I knew that I was still in Singapore, my heart told me otherwise, that I was in some foreign land, though it wasn't as strong as a year ago when I visited Sengkang for the first time.

Shortly before I arrived at Sengkang Bus Interchange at 3.26pm(4 minutes ahead of schedule;total time of travel: 100minutes; distance travelled: 28.4km), the high LRT lines came into view. I felt as though I was in a commercial plane which was descending onto the runway. Upon alighting, I went to search for the board with the bus service information. There was only 1 bus service linking Sengkang to Bedok Bus Interchange. That was the closest I could get to Tampines. Oh well, depending on how things go, I might be forced to take a train from Bedok Station to Tampines Station.

I started off with a walk around Compass Point. As it was past 2.30pm, most students would have been dismissed from school on the first day, so it might get crowded. First thing I saw was the Gundam Fiesta. From the main entrance, I felt a little disappointed, as it looked exactly the same as last year's from that perspective. I decided not to worry so much and leave that for later. The first floor still felt like the current Jurong Point, connected to the Bus Interchange and Train Station. The rest of the floors felt like a "rounded" West Mall, minus the cinema. At the top floor, I looked down. Hey! The set up's different! There's much to say here, but I'll let the pictures do the talking. The link would be up as soon as I upload my photographs on Facebook. As I walked around, I planned my photo opportunities. Though I had slightly more than an hour to spare, I had barely ample time to take photographs of the whole exhibition(though the area covered was small, but the exhibits were greater in number this year with a whole lot of limited edition model kits on display). I guess it was a blessing in disguise for me not to have located the kit lens and was kind of forced to leave home with the 50mm prime lens that afternoon, for I was able to take lots of great close-up portraits of the humanoid models. I would say that this year's fiesta was planned in a similar manner compared to the previous year, and the organisers have gone two or three up to add on more new, and limited edition models, as well as the palm of a life-sized, 18-metre tall Gundam model that took 6 months to put together in Japan. For once, maybe I had missed it last year, I understood the different grades of the model kits, which are categorised into the High Grade, Master Grade and Perfect Grade.

I left for Bedok on board SBS Service 87 at 4.34pm(4 minutes behind schedule). I did not feel anything during the journey. It felt as though I was travelling on familiar soil, even though I had never been to a few places along the way. I arrived at Bedok at 5.10pm(6 minutes behind schedule; total travel time of 100 + 36 = 136 minutes; distance travelled: 28.4km + 13.6km = 42.0km). As I had only 20 minutes of travel time left(a result of my poor route planning), I had to spend a little more to travel the last leg of my journey for the day by train, from Bedok Station to Tampines Station, a total of 3 train stops. I did not notice Danial and Zarifah opposite me until Danial came over and gave me the bubbly 'poke'. They came from the city after catching Resident Evil, in 3D. We all met up with the rest of the Toastmasters group at 5.35pm(5 minutes behind schedule; total travel time of 100 + 36 + 15 minutes = 151minutes). We planned a couple of stuff from 6 till 8.30pm, before going to a food court for dinner.

At 9.55pm, I boarded SMRT Service 67 bound for Choa Chu Kang, toward my Former Primary School after King Albert Park, on my return leg of the trip. I had an unexpected, but enjoyable conversation via the Short Messaging System which helped keep me awake and relaxed on the way home. Before Entering Upper Bukit Timah, the moon tonight was one big, beautiful orange crescent! If only I was daring enough to take out my camera to take a shot of the sight. I arrived at the bus stop at 11.05pm(total travel time of 70 minutes). 15 minutes later, I boarded SMRT Service 77 bound for Bukit Batok, and headed home, stepping into my room at 11.28pm(total travel time of 70 + 23 = 93 minutes).

My travel history for the day:

106 > train > 111 > Orchard Road > 171 > 77 > Home > 189 > 156 > Compass Point > 87 > train > Tampines Mall > 67 > 77 > Home

Though for a moment I forgot the significance of confiding and having a conversation, I thoroughly enjoyed the time spent. I wouldn't mind sacrificing time for others, but I would mind if others had to sacrifice part of their time for me.

Level 3.1 Examination

One more day to go. So far, it's been going downhill. No motivation, little drive. And I had thought it ended long ago. This time it came back, stronger. Shall do a proper post tomorrow after it all ends.

This morning, I dreamt of something that's been kinda recurring for some time now, except that the places always change. I have no idea how to go about telling it. It's almost as if it was all happening in real time, and I would only notice it was a dream when I turned to another side of the bed. Even after I realise it was a dream, I couldn't get myself to wake from it, until I heard my phone ring. Twice. Somehow, the minute-long alarm just couldn't work, but the barely 2-second long message tone did the trick.

I can't remember much about the dream. It started in a flat. I was with a family. No idea what or why I was there, seated at the dining table with everyone else. Somewhere in between, I was conversing with a friend, either over the phone, or online. At the end, it was raining at the entrance of a shopping mall,and I was meeting the same friend. Upon seeing me, two kids (I think they're about 3) ran toward me from one of the pillars concealing part of the glass doors, happily. I can't remember if they were two boys, or a boy and a girl. Behind them, she followed. One thing I did not know was, who was their father?

I don't know for sure what it meant, but I had dreamt of something like that before, sometime last year, I had a dream where I was out with a group of friends, and someone I knew, was there with us for a moment with another guy friend who we did not know. They left 5 minutes after we all bumped into one another.

I don't know. It felt as if someone was trying to force it into me. I tried to force myself to wake, but I had to receive two messages before I could wake. The alarm did not work(I subconsciously turned it off and went back to sleep). From the looks of it, it'll happen in the future? I doubt it. Maybe it's too early to tell. The dream felt so real, and I felt joy being at the flat conversing with my friend. I was struggling to wake just before I saw her with her kids, as a result, I did not know how I felt during that time.

"Who was the father? Me? Wait. We have never been together, so that won't happen."

Almost throughout the whole day I was pondering over the same thought. Now, I'm feeling lost. What am I to do? It's one of my greatest dreams to reach that point in my life, but I'll want to know how I'll reach there, and with who. Perhaps, it was good that I did not know for sure who the friend was, but I'm glad whoever planted that in me was good. I rather live like a normal person, not knowing what would happen in future, though it's good to experience it twice, once in a dream, and again in real time. It's the journey experience along the way that provides the comfort and warmth.

Maybe, it was time to let nature take its course? I'll just continue being myself. Embrace whatever comes my way, living as if tomorrow was going to be the end of the world.

End August'10

The second last day of August. Signifies the time of preparation is almost over. I'm left with the memorization of a list of formulae for Friday's paper. September arrives, a month long of possibly life changing activities and events are coming. Not sure if I'm ready, but I'm prepared to score at least straight Bs. That's the minimum i'll have to manage to continue studying on home ground.

This morning, I was woken up by a simple line after noticing myself sitting at a blue marble chess table at a void deck. A short, dark figure came up to me, saying that she(going by the voice, I guess the figure was a she) and three others were coming to get me. I woke up right after.

A day ago, I had another dream. This was rather weird, but yet it seemed very possible. I was at a road crossing at a city with sky scrapers with no vehicles on the road, and only a few other people walking along the streets. Suddenly there were fighter jets in the sky, but they weren't targeting anything, just flying in the sky. They were grey triangles, with borders painted green, yellow or red. They landed with their vertices facing the sky.

I woke up, rolled around in bed, yet I was still in the dream. When I fell asleep again, I was in some government building, being led into a conference hall as a minister. The prime minister went up on stage to give a speech, when someone in the crowd stood up and pointed a gun at her, demanding that all officials leave the hall, leaving the ministers and himself in the hall. We sat down in a circle, and got down to business. In fact, the discussion went on without any hostility. The discussion had been going on for 30 minutes,when things took a turn for the worse. The man started demanding things that seemed impossible for us to do as a government. I can't remember what he demanded, but we managed to resolve other stuff he brought up on behalf of the people. At some point, he took out his gun again, and I took mine out in an act of defence to the prime minister. She took my gun and threw it on the floor. He fired a shot which missed, as I knocked her off her seat. We both fell to the ground. Before I could reach out for the gun, he shot me in the bottom thrice(I know it's a weird place to be shot at), one penetrating my right wrist. I woke up right away, somehow still feeling the pain in my wrist, with disappeared after awhile.

I went back to sleep again. This time, I was a student in a school, who was attending a sports class. I was transferred from another sport, to swimming. There were two groups, but I did not know which to join, so I just went to the nearest group of bags at the pool to put down my belongings, and went to a hall one floor up to join the cohort. An instructor noticed me and asked me to go bring my belongings back up, and join the students who were getting changed. I did not bring my swim attire that day, so I could only go as far as the second activity, which was to have my body mass recorded. It was a good thing, since the swimming training was really tough from the looks of it.

Well, that's about it. Tomorrow, I'll be going back to my Secondary School, and maybe my Primary School if no one's going for lunch tomorrow.

18 days to the end of 3.1

It's been far too relaxing, there's just 6 days to the exams. YOG's over, so I should be into the study mood by now. More or less done for the modules, except for the part on remembering the formulae.

Drove alone twice this week, and it sure was fun. The afternoon might just be the best time to drive, as the roads are mainly occupied by buses, taxis, and a few other vehicles at any one time. Chances of being horned at by an impatient driver are relatively low.

Nothing much have been going on this week, but I'm sure once this weekend is over, things would start pouring in, so I had better try to clear as much as I can by Monday. Might be returning to the secondary and primary schools on Tuesday, some of our Filipino friends would be landing at Changi this Wednesday, Thursday I'll probably be doing some last minute memorising for the first paper on Friday. The weekends would be spent in school.

Mid August'10

So far, August has been great. Not too stressful, not too relaxed, just the right pace.

On Saturday I went for my first fireworks photo shoot with classmates and friends. Learnt quite a lot of stuff, but found it really hard to apply. I was given a piece of black paper, something that was used if I wanted to shoot just one explosion in the night sky. Most of us used a remote, as the shuttle speed was set to the user-defined setting, also known as the BULB mode, where one would just hold down the shutter button for as long as he or she pleased. At the start, I simply thought all I had to do was to just press, and release. For the first wave of fireworks, all I had were photographs of nothing but black. As the time went by, I guess I did better, managing to catch some of the explosions, with 2 to 3 good ones. The segment where the Phoenix mother ship, with the torch bearer on-board, was escorted by her 10 Dragon Boat escorts, was definitely the coolest hands-down. However, the fireworks simply sucked. Compared to the National Day Parade's fireworks, the arrangement for the finale was more disappointing. Yes, the variety was there, but the duration just simply wasn't.

As I was unable to get my hands on the closing ceremony ticket, I shall be joining them again on the 26th.

The coming week was spent solely on our final year project. We did make some progress, and all that's left is the report, some experiments to determine the finalized product, and the manufacturing.

Yesterday, was probably the most eventful day in August. It was also the day I was blur as a sotong. In the morning, I woke at 8am, and took my time to turn on my laptop. It took me 10 minutes to realise I had a dental appointment at the National Dental Centre 9am, and I had not done anything, except to turn my laptop on. As a result, I arrived at 9.20am. When asked for my Identification number, I recited my Student Card Number. Twice. In addition, I let out a loud "huh" when I realised I was reciting the wrong set of numbers. In the end, she simply passed me my queue number. 5 minutes later, I was in. 10 minutes after that, I was back out, getting my appointment. For some reason, I blindly requested to have my appointment pushed back to 5th October from 30th September, although I was able to make it on both dates.

I took a bus home, and it rained heavily just as I made my transfer home. As I left home in a hurry earlier, I brought nothing but my gate key(I had it detached from the key chain as I went for a run the evening before), phone, and wallet. Without an umbrella, I waited 15 minutes for the rain to reduce its intensity before I walked home, only to find myself locked out at 11.15am. My mum had taken my relatives to the museums for a visit, and would only be back at 4pm.

I took an umbrella, went to take a bus to my dad's workplace. 10 minutes after arriving at 11.40am, I drove us out for lunch at a market nearby, before doing some grocery shopping, and headed home. At 2pm, I went to the Jurong Regional Library to do a quick research on some stuff related to the final year project, from 3pm to 3.50pm. I had thought the few of us would be meeting at 5pm instead of 4 in school to prepare a surprise. After some confirmation, it was indeed 4pm as stated a few nights before.

Once in school, I found myself going back out to purchase a few stuff at King Albert Park. 40minutes later, I was back at the venue at 5.25pm. We were preparing a birthday surprise for our club mentor. He came by the back door. I happily took my time to paste the photographs onto a large card. He asked a friend to get some cash ready to purchase some refreshments to break fast with our fellow Muslim members. He walked past. We saw each other in the eye. He went in. Awkward silence. Well, at least the night went extremely well, and he apparently forgot about the card, until we brought it in to be presented to him

Today, our group had a 3-hour meeting at the library to plan for our design and the manufacture of our product. We even met our lecturer and supervisor who were there to get a few books! I went home, and slept the afternoon away after a short revision. Woke up at 5.30, before going for an evening run. Covered 8km in 50 minutes, by far the best timing this month.

This afternoon from 4.30 till 5.30pm, I revisited an old dream. It felt kind of weird, almost as if I was dreaming in a dream, yet I felt awake the whole time. In the dream, I was with my neighbours, relatives and parents, going to Malaysia on a holiday to stay at a bungalow. Here's the thing. Apparently, I was the only child, and the only one who looked my age, my parents looked a few years younger. My neighbours are supposed to be around my age, but in the dream, they looked like 5 or 6 year olds. Everyone else was the same, except that the cars we travelled in belonged to the 90s.

We arrived at 9am, and at 12pm, a young child wanted to trek along an abandoned railway to the country side. instead of by car, with 3 toy pushcarts stockpiled with snacks, drinks and clothes. We were going to stay at a country club till 6pm. My parents said that we had visited the place before when I was younger, except that now they had built a country club near there(they did not even mention my brothers, who were apparently non-existent in that dream... The railway hike experience was a revisit of one of my dreams when I was somewhere between 3-5 years, where I had this white cart with a yellow seat on one end and a long, blue handle on another).One way, the journey would take an hour. This was the thing. We had to walk along the tracks, and about a kilometre to our destination, we had to pay a toll at the first booth. The guard stationed there was short, old and grumpy. The second booth sold drinks and snacks. The journey there seemed rather easy. Until we reached the toll booth. the kid ran past the guard, and as our carts were all connected, we were unable to stop. He started to chase us, and he eventually caught up when we stopped at the second booth to buy drinks. We paid him, and continued on.

Why I had thought it was a dream in a dream, was simply because the country club looked like the Singapore Zoo and Botanical Gardens combined, and it was in Malaysia, facing the sea. What's more, the place even had a golf course, with some holes located at the gardens and the zoo! A friend hired a buggy for us to travel around in. I decided to walk through the zoo, and we caught an elephant feeding session, before I hopped back on so that we could complete a tour of the place.

We went back to our starting point, which was a canteen facing a large swimming pool. Not too far in the horizon was the beach. We had a nice afternoon chat with some tea, coffee and biscuits. At 4pm, there was a warning. Yellow lights were lit and an air raid siren was heard. My uncle told us that the place prone to sudden gusts of wind, a result of the vast open area of the country club. In a moment, it came, and the whole structure shook as though there was an earthquake. After the winds stopped, we saw water sprouts appearing near the beach. I counted out loud for everyone. There were 6 or 7 of them, and they were big. We did not feel any danger, so we went for a short walk nearby. I followed, but went back after awhile. Back at the canteen, I saw someone familiar by the balcony, and went out to confirm it. She was roughly 1.5-1.6m in height, and wore a red shirt. Maybe she was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans as well? I went up, and yes it was her(Apparently, I have never seen this girl anywhere before, and somehow my subconscious picked her up to be someone I knew, and yet I din't even say, or hear her name once in the dream. Sadly, I was unable to remember all her facial features.). We had a good chat, sat down, and continued our conversation over coffee. She needed to go to the wash room, so I followed. Something unique about the country club was that, the taps were shared, except the toilets, changing area and the showers were not(just like Makan Place @ NP, though the colour scheme used was different). When she came out, I learnt that she was there with her family, so I guess it wasn't really a coincidence afterall.

At 5pm, we parted ways. We promised to ring each other up once we're back in Singapore so that we could meet. I did not get to return to the canteen to see if the weather had improved as we were going to trek back to the bungalow. The journey back was tough, especially at the start. The guard at the toll gate was there to stop us, saying that the railway suffered some damage, but if we wanted to carry on, we had to be prepared for the worst. The kid was upset, but stubborn and he wanted to keep going. The adults contemplated our options. A quarrel ensued. 30 minutes later, we decided to set off at 6pm. We had a few more carts so that the adults could sit in and enjoy the ride back instead of going on foot. I linked all the carts together, and we had an engine to help. Somehow, halfway through, I simply broke down, badly. I had no idea why. Even if there was a reason behind it, I can't remember. After we set off, the journey was great. a stretch of the slope that was there had collapsed, and along the way we were able to see the sea and the horizon! It was 7.30pm when we reached the bungalow. We sat down together for dinner, and at 8.30pm, my aunt asked me to the porch, and we had a conversation about my conversation with that girl from the afternoon. I can't remember the details about almost every conversation from the dream, but that one, was filled with lots of advice. I only managed to remember the last part, where she said that if I wanted to, she could send me back home so that we both could see each other the following day. I agreed, and the next moment, I found myself awake, at 5.30pm.

Tomorrow and Sunday, it'll be intensive revision all the way till the end of next week, as August edges to an end and September arrives.

It seems not having the usual conversation for just one day, makes me feel as though something's missing. Maybe with my tone and words, you might find it rather boring? Every moment in text, was lived like there was no tomorrow.