Gloom

This week was a rather dark week for me. This week was pure crap. Nothing really went well. Anyways, the week is over, and I cleared another 2 projects this week. Tests are starting to come up next week and the weeks after that together with more projects being due, up till the end of the second semester and the end of my first year in a polytechnic.

Today, nothing much happened. Don't really know what's been happening to me these few days as well. Lots of projects coming in, lots of revision that needs to be done, but I am as good as a sitting duck as of now. I have not even touched a single book, or maybe I did go through some notes since I reached home.

Tomorrow and Sunday, it's going to be lifeless studying, so in case I do not reply to your messages either online or through phone, I'll apologise in advance. Monday and Tuesday, not so sure about how things would be like as yet, for I have been extremely busy these few days, rushing through projects and the sort. For the first time, I am starting to hate the month of January. Oh, and maybe tomorrow, I might be done with the composition, hopefully so, if I got the time. However, I got the feeling that it would not be as good as before.

Let's say that, the 3 hour walk from the esplanade to Clementi would be materialised into how my life would be like for the year 2009. At the start, I would turn into many dead ends, walking in large circles around things, noticing that I am lost only after a while. Then, what about the places that I should not have passed through? I don't even want to think about the worst case scenarios that might occur along the way. Prevention is still better than cure. However, all that only reflects on the first quarter of the year. The second quarter was simply quiet, Occassionally I would get lost, but I would still manage to find my way. The thrid quarter would be rather quick paced, yet tiring, perhaps in the same way which I am currently experiencing mentally?The fourth quarter would see me receiving help, which would give me that strong, final boost toward the end of the year.
If that were true, what should I do? Get help? What kind of help? Share my troubles? With who(I find myself drifting away from many people whom I used to call 'brothers' and 'sisters')? Run away? I have had my fair share of running.It's time to stand up and face it. But how, and through what means? Please, I don't want to go back into that forest and get lost in there again. It's a fear that I am still unable to overcome, but I know that it would be definitely be gone. The question is, how long will it take? Someone, please help...